To the silent infertility warrior – I am sorry that you are alone. I am sorry that you are being left alone. It is time to speak up and use your voice to show others they are not alone.
As a woman’s health is not the only factor that can contribute to infertility, men should also be proactive about their fertility wellness. A man provides half of the blueprint for a future child and it is equally important for them to focus on optimizing their lifestyle habits. Though participation is required, men are frequently neglected throughout the fertility journey. Of course, most men want to be there for their partner, but who is there for them?
For so many years, infertility itself was a taboo subject that no one discussed, men or women. Over the last several decades so many strides have been made to bring infertility discussions into mainstream conversations without making those experiencing infertility feel judged. Unfortunately, many men are often underserved both emotionally and physically throughout the same fertility journey their partner is on – they are the silent infertility warriors.
It’s so easy to share opinions about benign things such as your favorite car, food, music artist, athlete or sports teams, but talking about real issues with deep roots is often more difficult for those blessed with the XY chromosome. This holds true for some women as well, but there are more resources available to women if they are open and receptive. This needs improvement for men. Don’t get me wrong, more assistance should be accessible for anyone experiencing infertility, but there is currently an inequality of what support is available for men.
It is so hard to see the pressure men place on themselves that often goes unnoticed as much of the focus is centered on the woman’s journey, what she needs to do physically and how she is feeling emotionally. While it is of course, vital to address each woman’s thoughts and feelings, I believe it is crucial to help men find a voice as well. Whether they’re feeling pressure to perform, tension to say just the right thing to their partner, anger at being in this situation, or simply feeling frustrated and unsure what to do – they deserve to have resources to aid in better coping methods and bring a sense of brotherhood that is sadly a missing when men stay silent.
Often just asking a simple, straightforward question about how they’re truly doing, with a real opportunity for a safe place to answer is all it takes to help someone share what they’ve been keeping in. The relief to let out just a part of the intense thoughts and emotions about their fertility struggles is vital to the infertility journey. Keeping it all in does not help the individual or their partner.
Being able to talk about it and perhaps even finding a sense of camaraderie is priceless going through fertility treatment or when trying naturally. The absence of support is felt by both men and women, no one should feel alone in this intense and complex infertility world. If you’re reading this and wishing you had someone to talk to about it all, I’m here. I will be here as a friend, ally, and advocate whenever you need.
Click here to learn more about the programs I provide for integrative infertility support for individuals and couples to enhance fertility naturally.